Great expectations

tangleHow many of you people out there wrestle with the danged colored lights every year? I bet every single one of you all fight the danged things trying to get all the knots and tangles out before hanging them upon a tree or outside on the roof.  I know I do.  I also test them after untangling just to make sure they all work. I HATE with a capital H the danged things!

This year, since the real blog died (actually I accidentally killed it…can I be arrested for blogocide?) I found myself decorating early. I usually wait until the last minute as I really can not stand decorating for a holiday that I don’t really believe should be a holiday..but I like pretty colored lights and the hubby and kids like them so every stinking year I get them out and wrestle them into submission.

I always have visions of my home looking like this………

It only took me a couple of HOURS this morning to sort the blasted things. Then there was the hour spent testing them and switching out dead bulbs…oh joy! What fun!

THEN I spent forever hanging the blasted things around each window, the door, and up a few columns that hold up the porch roof. Now hanging them was supposed to be easy this year as last year I never took down the cup hooks and nails that held everything in its place…….except half the cup hooks absconded with the vast majority of the nails so I was stuck putting more up.

To make things easier, I even took down the front porch swings.  Except I am so used to the swings being there that when I sat down upon one of them I ended up on the porch floor instead of in the hanging swing.  That was fun.

It was also scads of fun to have the neighbor borrow my ladder while I was on the roof mucking about with lights.  More than likely he said he was borrowing it, but I failed to hear anything.  In any event I had a marvelous time hanging from a rafter screaming for my ladder when I took that first step down and encountered an invisible ladder. And as the neighbor said, “It’s only a six or seven foot drop Suze”.

Well, it’s actually more like ten or eleven feet but that was totally beside the point. I value my body (what’s left of it) and want to avoid emergency treatment at all costs.

I finally finished with all the dadgummed lights, and plugged them in. I stepped back to admire my work when they all shut down at the same time…so did every light in the house. I think I have discovered the reason we aren’t supposed to connect more than two strand of lights……….seven of them proved a bit much for that poor circuit to handle.

After fixing the circuits, reconnecting several extension cords to the lights, I turned them on again.  Oh they were so pretty! For all of one and one half minutes.  Then three strands went out….dark…no colors…no lights. dscn4164

I am wondering how long I can leave them that way before someone tells me about it and I have to fix them.


3 thoughts on “Great expectations

  1. I suspect that the hardware stores sell more lights every year than many other Christmas decorations. I also suspect this is because homeowners can’t abide trying to untangle Christmas lights from year to year. It makes me wonder if there’s an easier way to retire the lights. Is there a way to box them up without banging them together so that one or two break? What is the life of the lights? I mean how many hours can they illuminate your house before they blow out? You were brave enough to put up your lights this year irregardless of the fact that a few are now dark. I give you *** for doing this, because I didn’t do anything with mine. I’d rather go out and see other people’s lights. In fact I take my grandson and we go trolling for the best light display. We make a game of it. If we happen to pass your house, I’ll bump my horn….unless you have cookies and eggnog on offer. Let me know!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I will always have cookies and eggnog ready! I made a couple of light holders last year from some cardboard. Basicly they look like a cardboard bow tie and I wrap the lights around it..then fold up into tissue paper and into the Christmas decoration box. They stay nice until the cats come to help me with them.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Lights, untnagle them (oops, even my words are tnalged, argh….tangled). No don’t untangle them yourself. Break out your cookies and eggnog and throw a disentanglement party. Whoever get the job done first get to bang in the nails and install the extra cup hooks. And don’t fix the broken ones. Tell complainants it’s part of the mood for 2016; mostly bright with chasms of darkness hovering overhead.

    Liked by 1 person

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